Usually when we talk about dieting, we talk about deprivation. We think of all the foods, treats, desserts and snacks that we can’t have. We feel that the only way we can get the weight off is by depriving ourselves of these “forbidden” foods and wait for the day we can indulge in them once again. We place these foods on a pedestal because somehow they have a magical, mystical quality over us. We feel powerless when these foods are around us as if they are somehow forcing us to eat them.

We may do this for a while until we give in to the powerful force of the food that’s calling us but consider this. What would happen if you looked at the whole diet approach much differently? If you want to lose weight your eating has to change, that’s a given. But while you’re making alterations to your diet, making healthier choices and changing your eating behaviors, instead of looking at what you can’t have, how about looking at the confidence, pride and improved self esteem you’ll feel when new habits are formed? Instead of feeling angry that you can’t eat something, how about feeling proud that you’re choosing to work towards the body you want? Instead of struggling with the same foods that caused your weight issues for years, maybe even decades, how about realizing that these particular foods simply don’t work for you and it’s your choice to exclude them from your healthy eating plan? Nothing tastes as good as the feeling of being in control over our choices, our lives and ourselves.

The only real deprivation is not being able to live the life we want due to the pain our relationship with certain foods have caused. Think about how your weight has held you back. If you don’t like how you feel and look because of excess weight, you’re not as likely to feel sexy and your relationships may suffer. Without feeling sleek and fit, you may be self conscious and not be as confident or outgoing as you’d like to be. Without healthy eating and exercise, you’re also more likely to be sluggish and fatigued; leaving you less willing to be active with your family.

Instead of choosing to feel deprived by what you can’t have, choose to embrace the feeling of freedom. Freedom to live the life you want by ending the tug of war you feel with certain foods. Not only will it free up some mental space, but it will make you feel like you’re the boss, not the chips, cookies, wine or Saturday night breadbasket.

Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC is a contributing writer for Fabulously40, Registered Dietitian with a Masters degree in Nutrition, Certified Personal Trainer, Whole Health Coach, Lifestyle Expert just for moms, President of Lifestyle Fitness, Inc. and a busy mom of four children. Debi has been working exclusively with moms for nearly 20 years, inspiring and empowering them to become physically fit and emotionally strong through gradual, lifestyle changes. She’s known as "The Total Mojo Coach" because she helps unfit, overweight and overwhelmed moms get their mojo back! For more information on the Lifestyle Fitness Program, please visit http://www.lifestylefitnessinc.com