Need Relationship Help?

TEXT SIZE  

smaller larger

rss feed beth's blog feed

Discover the Difference between "Me" And "We"

Have you ever been in a relationship with a person you thought was your ideal partner and then, seemingly out of nowhere, your relationship crashed and burned? If you're like most people, you want to have a healthy, happy relationship with that ideal partner. Once you find that relationship, the first thing you'll want to do is learn how to maintain it. One of the biggest mistakes people tend to make is that they believe the myth that when two people enter into a relationship they become one. This article reveals seven steps for maintaining the "ME" within the relationship "WE"

To ensure a healthy, thriving relationship, it is essential that you preserve your own unique essence. You are a gift to every relationship you enter into. Your personal values, dreams, and desires add distinctiveness and spice that only you can bring. If you believe the myth that when you enter into a relationship you should become one with the other person, you will lose the true rewards a loving partnership can bring.

Maintaining your own uniqueness, and preserving the "me" when you are attempting to create a healthy, happy "we", is a common problem with couples – whether you're still in that newlywed stage of romance or have been together for decades.

Some people spend so much time with their partner that they experience a sense of loss and feel alone when they’re separated from them for any period of time. This is a clue that you're starting to lose "you". When you nurture your own personal values, dreams, and desires, you maintain your sense of self. By doing this, you are more able to give all of beautiful gifts you have to offer to your relationship when you do spend time as a couple:
Here are seven tips for nurturing and maintaining you’re your unique sense of self:

happy couple

  1. Spend an evening reading. Make sure you read books that engage you, or just make you feel good. If you’ve been waiting to get your hands on a particular book, take a few minutes now and schedule time to read it. Quiet time at home, enjoying a good book without any interruptions can energize you and bring new life into your relationship.
  2. Go places that you've wanted to go but haven't done so because your partner wasn't interested. Watch a movie that you’ve wanted to see, visit that museum with the interesting exhibit, or take those dance lessons you've always been curious about. Don’t deny yourself something you want to experience just because your partner doesn’t share your interest.
  3. Visit your family. Spending time with your family can help you keep a relationship strong. Often, when we get involved with a new love interest, we forget to take the time to visit family. Strong family ties remind us that we belong to a loving community-- one that is with us whether we're in a romantic relationship or not.
  4. Don't let your friends fall by the wayside--go out with them. Spending time with your friends allows you to let loose and be yourself, without worrying about how you’re coming across to the other person.
  5. Continue being involved in what you love to do. If you’re a golfer and your partner isn’t, there’s no reason you shouldn’t take a day for a round of golf. If you like to sew, spend a day doing that. Just because your partner finds it boring, doesn’t mean you should now find it boring. It was fun for you before and it's almost guaranteed that it will still be fun for you now.
  6. Pamper yourself! Enjoy a bubble bath or whirlpool. Or get a massage. Make yourself feel good and get re-energized for the next time you and your partner are together.
  7. Identify what you value most. Getting in touch with who you are at that core level will allow you to maintain your ability to give. Download our free values exercise that you can find by visiting our web site. When you have finished the exercise, make a list of things you can do to satisfy those values. Next time you feel lonely, take out your list and schedule time to do something on it.

A healthy relationship requires “me” as much as “we” time. Be sure to plan a healthy dose of both in your relationship.

If you are ready to learn more about maintaining who you are in a relationship and creating more authentic happiness in your life, sign up for our free, thought-provoking, motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at: Focused Attention.

Each tip offers practical advice for creating and living the life you really want.
Or visit us at: Focused Attention



Member Comments



leave your comment

    URL links will automatically be clickable.
    Textile enabled; see our help for more information


    About this author


    Our lives are made up of many relationships—our parents, relatives, teachers, friends, children, partners in love and business, the mail carrier, and even salespeople at your local stores. The list goes on and on. We don’t exist in a vacuum, and—like it or not—everyone, from our closest family and friends to randomly encountered strangers, plays a vital role in how we experience ourselves and the world around us. These relationships form the core of our life experience. If this is true, then the way to having a more happy, successful and satisfying life can only be found through creating more happy, successful and satisfying relationships.

    My name is Beth Banning and my partner’s name is Neill Gibson, together we founded of Focused Attention. We created of The Art of Conscious Connection online eCourse to support people in having happier lives. Our mission is to bring you very effective life skills and personal development tools, and the ability to use them well. Our passion is to help you build a strong foundation for deeply satisfying relationships in every area of your life.

    Find out why over 80% of our clients agree: These courses are extremely effective for building your self acceptance, self esteem, and self confidence. Learn how you can reduce the stress of difficult conversations and problem situations, and accelerate your personal growth and ability to succeed at the same time.

    Sign up for our free thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series by visiting: http://www.FocusedAttention.com/cmd.php?ad=317928 Each tip offers practical advice for creating and living the life you really want.

    Or visit us at “Focused Attention“: http://www.FocusedAttention.com