There are extreme pressures on relationships today. Fast paced lifestyles can leave little room for developing and maintaining intimate relationships. Yet, a healthy relationship is one of the things that make life worthwhile and helps us live a longer and healthier life. A successful relationship can help us face the tough times and enjoy the great times in our life.

The following are 8 Keys to Successful Relationships:

Passion

Anything that you are passionate about gets more of you—more energy, more enthusiasm and more time. If you don’t feel passionate about your relationship, begin by behaving as if you were passionate about your relationship. Don’t look at this as being dishonest or pretending. Think instead, I want to be passionate about my relationship so I will give it a try. Remember, loving feelings follow loving thoughts and actions.

Nurture

If you want your relationship to succeed you need to put some effort into it. You would not expect a garden to grow without some planting and tending. So put some effort into tending your relationship. Invest time; make it a priority. Have fun with it. Find ways to nurture your relationship that you can enjoy doing for a lifetime.

Get Good

Develop relationship skills, learn to communicate clearly, learn to listen—really listen to understand your partner, accept responsibility for yourself and learn to honor and enjoy your differences. Learn from your mistakes—grow up rather than simply growing older.

Focus

Focus on what is great, not what is wrong. You are going to get more of what you focus on, so focus on something that you want more of. Focus on the positive, the good, focus on solutions rather than problems.

Expectations

Expect great things from yourself; be willing to stretch and grow. Expect that you will have a great relationship. Expect that you will know what to do to improve your relationship. Push yourself to do what it takes to make your relationship great. Learn and grow as a couple and as individuals.

Serve One Another

The “What am I getting out of this?” attitude is a relationship killer. Try instead asking, “What am I giving to this relationship?” “In what ways is my partner life better because I am in it?” “What can I do to make our relationship better?” Find ways to reach out to, be generous and show love to your partner, without scorekeeping.

Get Involved

Be an active participant in your relationship. Listen, observe, be curious, ask questions, problem solve, make connections. Listen to your partner, get curious about who they are and what is important to them.

Persist

Commit to your relationship and to each other. More important, commit to making your relationship worth committing to. If you persist at striving to make your relationship a great place to be, then you can enjoy, rather than endure a lasting relationship.

Susan DerryProfessional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
Co-creator of a Healthy Weight Loss System.
Offers a free report: Weight Loss Myths Exposed