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Today, when competition is rampant in every field of human development, it is every parents dream that their children attain peak performance academically, as in all other aspects. However, in families especially wherein both parents are working, this dream is oft shattered. What then can well-meaning parents do in their increasingly fast-paced lives?
The winning edge comes from the combination of mental attitude, habits and strategy. With the right expertise and simplistic approach, parents have the power to helping their children to excell and eventually be successful in their adult years. As a parent, a teacher and a child/ family counselor, I am more than convinced that by consistently following some simple guidelines, parents can make an enormous positive difference to their children's performance in schools.
Let us examine some of the important ways by which parents can ensure their youngsters success:-
Help teachers to know your child:
It is important that parents build a good rapport with the teachers of their children. It yields terrific results when children are aware that their teachers and parents work jointly together in their interest. Teaming up with our child’s teacher yields rich dividends. Discerning parents do not let their child simply be a name in the roll book, but help the teacher to get to know and understand their child better. This strategy also helps the teacher not to give up on students who misbehave or are poor performers. It enables teachers to better understand the child’s particular needs and aspirations.
Pay attention to your child:
This is of primary importance for all children whatever the age. It is unwise for parents to leave major work load to the school or the child. All children thrive with attention. Parents, who do not spend much time with their kids, end up looking for quick solutions like tutoring to help in their child’s school work. Parents who do not allow their kids to watch a lot of T.V. have a great possiblity of improving their child’s performance in school.
Be Realistic:
Parents need to be well aware of their child’s strengths and weaknesses. They need to be realistic while reviewing their child’s performance and gracefully accept the reality and responsibility of their child’s poor performance. In their own child’s interest, parents should not make excuses for lapse in their child’s behavior or performance; nor should they protest when a punishment is meted out to them. At such times, they need to acknowledge that their child has not worked hard enough and seek the teacher’s guidance for improvement in the suggested areas.
Get to know other parents:
Inter-acting with other parents can reap many benefits. This helps in being a better informed parent as information is shared and doubts clarified pertaining to school, teachers, class and other children with whom their child keeps company. Knowing other parents, help in resolving certain issues and understanding the root of the problem which the child may be facing at school.
Acknowledge good educators:
Teachers work hard each day with children. They seldom get recognition or appreciation. A phone call or an occasional thank you note can have a great impact. This will be an added incentive for teachers to take special note of your child and a good way of teaching children to be appreciate and thankful to their teachers.
Celebrate your child’s successes:
Parents need to frequently acknowledge and celebrate all of their child’s successes—-be it in academics or extra-curricular activity. It could be that your child has won an award in Elocution or Drawing Competition. It’s best not to overlook or underplay this special achievement but rather appreciate each and every success. This helps children to gain feelings of self-worth and nurtures self-confidence.
In conclusion:
Parenting is a rewarding experience when handled with the right attitude and in the right spirit. As parents, we need to be there for our children throughout their developmental stage and beyond. The more parents get involved during their children’s school years, the better will be their chances for a brighter, happier and successful future.
I appreciate this write up and I think you have made a lot of very good points here. I know from experience with my two boys that extra attention to even the small victories makes a huge difference in their attitude and there willingness to keep trying. I try to realistic about my boys but of course I think they are brilliant:) However, I know if they have been having trouble at school I don’t just jump in and blame the teacher, the school, etc….I listen to what is said from all sides, esp. my child and then I go from there. I am lucky to live in a small town and the schools here are more rural so small in population and it does have the added advantage that parents, teachers and students all get to know one another.But I will try to use these suggestions in dealing with my boys in their education. Thank you:)
This is a really good thing my son started K and now is a great time to start
Hi Doreen!
I was so happy that you found this article useful. That is my intent—to help other PARENTS.
When my two boys were growing up, I recall reading everything available, whatever I could lay my hands on—-to find tips on being a more efficient mom. Believe me, honestly that interest and deep desire to do better—has helped me and my sons tremendously.
There is so much to learn from each other’s experiences.I also gained a lot of experience as a teacher by inter-acting with my pupils and their parents.
Today, I’m proud to say, both our sons are well accomplished after acquiring PHD. & MS Degrees respectively in a foreign country {U.S] competing with students on the other side of the globe. It was a difficult time financially as the Tuition fees were higher for International students. But they made it big by getting scholarships and even as Teaching Assistants in College.
We as parents are grateful that we could help in fulfilling their aspirations. I am sure that your effort as a mother will NEVER go in vain. Good Luck!
Gool
Hi!
How wonderful that you read this article. Please do read my response to Doreen. Both my sons are now accomplished adults. There is nothing in the world that has given me greater satisfaction than the jooys of parenting and being responsible in positively influencing our children’s lives.
Do share news about your kids here. I promise to do all I can to help out if you have any concern in Parenting.
Have you read my Bio? Please do—I have years of experience in dealing with kids and have a proven track record.
Keep in touch & TONS OF GOOD LUCK is on your way.
Gool
I think that we as parents often want to take our children’s side an blame the teachers for being mean, inattentive and insensitive to our child’s needs.
We need to celebrate our children’s achievements, and show respect to teachers along with our children while reminding our kids that it is their teachers that make a significant difference in their lives.
Yana, a point well made. O yes, teachers do need recognition, appreciation and respect for all that they do. And who better than the parents to set a good example?
Gool
Hello Miss Gool,
So glad to have the pleasure of reading your wonderful article. You have so much knowledge in the form of education, and your article proves this. Every time I read an article of yours, I keep thinking that if everyone read them, they may come away with the “almost perfect child” (smiles). In reality you give such good advice and all your points here suggest that.
I especially like your comments on “Be Realistic” because I went through this with my son (because after having a daughter who was “gifted“), my expectation of course were driven along the same lines for my son. This was however not the case… my expectation were set far too high for him… and though I wanted to see the same qualities in my son, they were simply not there. He had to work very, very hard in all areas of study, where it came extremely easy for my daughter. So yes, I would say, you have to know your child and your expectations sometimes need to be altered in regards to each child. That was a hard lesson for me, but when I did realize it and came to terms with it, I was better able to help him.
You speak wisely Gool, as always, and I appreciate your writings and thank you so kindly for sharing them. You are a blessing.
Love Nancy
I agree with your comments Gabby, and I recognize their value. It’s great to see the teacher’s effort acknowledgement as part of the list and I will make sure I keep that in mind, and make the effort next time. That end of the year or Christmas gift would probably be insufficient, and not as personal as a written note.
In regard to parent involvement, I agree that an informed parent is a better one. It is important to share the knowledge about our child with the teacher, so she (he) can approach each child from their respective needs. That would be a perfect scenario, but since we live in a rushed society, the individual needs are ignored in a hurry for a main goal, like better SAT scores. We as parents are also walking a fine line, since we have the tendency of getting to much involved, and we are doing it to satisfy our own ego, for the “good grades” sake, forgetting to look at the big picture, and at the end the child is not gaining. How can we keep a good balance?
Nancy dear,
Thank you for your visit inspite of your busy schedule—now that you will be moving tomorrow to Ohio. I wish you & Rich the very Best and try calling you up later in the day.
Your insights and experience in parenting are invaluable and I’m sure helpful to our younger generation of parents.
God Bless!
Gool
Hi Anette!
Delighted to have your thought-provoking comments.
You are absolutely right here—-a personal Thank You note can make a huge difference. Having been a teacher myself, I know it.
Regarding your reference to “satisfying our ego for good grades” like you mentioned SAT scores, I would simply ask you,—what is really important to you? Your own ego or your child’s best interest? This self-analysis, will help you to STOP & THINK awhile.
Ofcourse, I do understand the importance of having good scores in todays’ competitive world. But your child’s ‘self-confidence’ and not good scores alone, is CRUCIAL to all his future successes. Your being overly concerned about the scores/ grades, would unnerve your child and would perhaps trigger nervousness and urgency to perform. In such a scenario, he/she would not be able to perform to the best of their ability; meaning it might backfire.
Regarding “gain a balance“—I would consider this: Think back of the time when you were a child; what would you have wanted? When I think back, I know I would have wanted my parents trust, in my ability to perform; encouragement, to spur me on; and TIME, to understand my needs. How about you my friend?
Hope this answers your question. Do let me know if/how this strategy works. It worked for me. Your “believing” in your child is WHAT COUNTS and is of significant importance.
Good Luck on your Parenting journey!
Gool
Thanks, Gabby. I will keep both in mind. The one that is hardest to follow, I think,is related to our own childhood. We are almost wired in a certain way, due to our own experiences as kids, but we are making a mental decision not to repeat certain patterns. It does not mean that they are not there, only that we are refusing to pull them out, like a set of old, outdated tapes. And if those tapes did not even contain the notion of encouragement, you, as a parent yourself, need to invent it.
Yes Anette, to ” invent” we need to be creative and we can be—if only we take time to stretch our mind and imagine!
Good Luck
Gool
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