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butterscotch's blog feed
Its time for life to change. I have six kids and a husband. I’ve been active in the community and in ministry for the past 15 years and I am just plain tired. Tired of the sameness, the facade presented by myself and others. I want the freedom I read about in the bible, secular books, and even on these blogs. I want to do more than read about it, I want it to become my life. I’m not living my passion and I wonder so many times if it’s just too late. While I encourage others to pursue life, it’s passing me by. I want to write but don’t have time; exhausted after 14 – 16 hour days etc…..
Change begins within. Sounds like you need a night out without the hubby or kids. Not to a club or anything like that. But some moments with girls over wine and cheese or whatever. The main thing is that you could speak your mind and your piece without holding your tongue. What do you want out of life and how do you think you could get it??
so here’s the thing…your absolutely right but with so many commitments it’s easier said than done. everything I do affects everyone I love and I must admit that I am a caretaker. What do I want out of life? To start over, all over again, fresh but since that’s unrealistic I will just say that being able to begin the day with my own needs as a priority for a change would be a start. Hmmmmmm
Maybe you should be called ‘Mother Theresa‘. You are a wonderful and loving person, but as you can see its starting to wear thin. Being the caretaker of everyone and their feelings is not good and not what GOD intended.
GOD bless the child that’s got his/her own. You have, I said have – have – have to take some time for yourself or your going to explode. Please love yourself as much as GOD loves you. You can start over but your going to have to train the people in your life first. Unfortunately, you have got them used to using you. Now you need to take care of butterscotch first. How do you expect to be there for someone else until you are made whole and truly happy with oneself.
Let me sleep on it as GOD always talks to me in dreams. I’ll have more for you tomorrow. I’ll check in after I get in from work. Take care butterscotch. I’m praying for you to have an epiphany and see the road you need to take to get where you need to be.
I too am a caretaker (of everyone except me!) and always worry about how my actions will affect everyone around me.
Recently my sister made a slip that changed my life forever. She said “it’s easier for me if you do it.” Those simple words stopped me in my tracks. I realize that my ‘care-taking’ has been enabling, and that those around me will let me run myself into the ground because I make it easier for them.
I’ve since changed everything. I pick and choose what I do now. I admit it is hard to not jump in to ‘save the day,’ but I have had time for a new hair cut, a massage, I’ve even started taking weekends off. Because my husband is a slug, I make plans for myself and have a great time. I’ve met some really good people who have similar interests (cooking and eating!).
I agree with kmchenry. I’ve been where she is and it is “hard” not to save the day. But you definitely need to make time for yourself.
I agree with kmchenry, too.
You have to take care of you first, or everything else will fall apart anyway.
So taking charge of your own well-being will throw some others off-kilter? Good! You may just be the catalyst they need to get their own lives and situations under control.
I wish you the best of luck in finding, and fulfilling your own passions.
________
Have you seen the new feathermaye ?
Kmchenry, you r so right! I woke up this morning wanting to revamp my life; of course the first thing I thought about was how that would affect everyone currently in my world. I think I need to make small steps one at a time. Even taking a weekend off for myself is foreign.
When I travel its for work or with other people. I think one of my dreams is to take a weeks vacation by myself for myself. WhooHoooo! I may just be on too something.
Your sister’s comment struck a chord in me….I think I will spend some time today pondering how to move from theory to application. Yeees!
feathermaye,
Thanks for the wake up call. It’s interesting, no one worries about inconveniencing me or stressing me out; I think I need to take a cue from those around me. Take time to live for myself and let others be uncomfortable for a change. I like it! Now I just have to do it.
There was a blog post entitled “Someone else’s drama draining you?” on september 5. It was really great and it made me think about helping others so much and not taking time for myself.
Imagine yourself on an airplane. There is a small child sitting next to you. There is an emergency and the oxygen masks come down. If you put yours on first and then turn to the child to help her, chances are you’ll both survive. If you try to help the child first before securing your own mask, there’s a chance you’ll both die.
Strange analogy I know but sometimes taking time to recharge our batteries actually in the long run helps our loved ones around us. We‘re more balanced, we have more energy, we‘re happier and we‘re willing to give time freely without suffering the exhaustion.
Well wishes to you
Cynthia
Wonderful, I love this board. I knew answers would come. Butterscotch, you always knew what you had to do but it’s hard not stepping in and saving everyone. You are on the right track and self-evaluation is the key. I agree wholeheartedly with feathermaye that once you give your loved ones the power to make their own decisions and handle their own destinies they will find they are stronger then they gave themselves credit for.
I had a dreamless night so I guess my lesson is that I can’t help everyone either. I don’t have all the answers. :) That would make my hubby laugh I’m sure.
I need to take my own advice. Even in cyberspace I try to fix things too!! Let me know how your get away weekend goes. Take lots of pics.
Butterscotch
Write in your own journals and write short stories and get paid to publish in magazines.
BUST the door down, for you ! Then see who is behind you after you take care of you. . TIME THIEVES will FADE AWAY.
OTHER people drama draining you? Good one but other people drama could be your lesson to not repeat. . take some and throw some away . . . .
We all love THIS SITE . . .
Thanks Ya & Staff
By the way Butterscotch
Six children !!!!!! Wow !!!! APPLAUD for yourself !!!
Steal some time for Yourself . . . let them take care of you and not just on MOTHER‘S DAY.
The US Military is coming out of me now, Delegate.
FOR ONE WHOLE DAY do NOTHING for ANYBODY
have them cater to you.
Need any clues, send me a message…I got plenty.
I broke my collarbone and could not even brush my teeth without pain so all those duties . . .of MOM and WIFE
were out the DOOR and in my BED
So I learned a lot on stealing time for me. . . .
That’s why I started my own :
““:http://budgetworldwideconcierge.com/
For MOM’s like you and all you ladies. We deserve that 5 star treatment on a budget, I even grocery shop.
Most of my clients are children – making school lunches. Although I give more away FREE to them through my daughter the C.E.O. because her sales skills are FREE SAMPLES.
So now all those Mother’s that did not have to spend that time shopping and getting those groceries and dragging the bags in and re-organizing the fridge and then make lunches are now taking me to luncheons on our stolen time.
Again LOVE THIS SITE
Going to sleep, now I just wanted to share the air of LOVE that flowed today.
Ayanda,
You are such a gift and your humour is great! Thanks for the encouragement.
Yeah for you!
The first step already happened, you are now aware that the facade needs to removed and your true self needs to step forward. It is scary, but exciting too. This alone will start the changes that you are so hungry for.
-Meri
Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.