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Racy emails
12 posts, 12 voices , started 3 months agoPosted on Tuesday, August 26, 2008 by lisag161
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lisag161SilverOffline
If you found out that your husband was exchanging racy, provocative emails wiht another woman (hinting at having sex) what do you do?
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SilverOffline
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oh, I don’t know, cut off his wang?(sarcasm). This could be a grounds for divorce or some underlying martial issue in your relationship. But don’t take my advice, I am just an average Jane, not a psychiatrist.
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SilverOffline
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I would confront him, and try to find out what he thought was wrong in the relationship that he thought he needed to do this. I had something kinda similar happen—an exgirlfriend sent suggestive emails, even as he kept her at arms length. He still enjoyed the fact he was being pursued, and I could tell he was tempted to give in. Especially when we discussed the whole thing and I came to realize (and he had his own realizations, too) what I was doing to let down the relationship, that had him wanting this.
Now I send the suggestive emails at different times, to surprise him. And other things. So now, after 22 years of marriage and 24 years together, we are having more fun and being more open and free with each other than when we were honeymooners. And mine started with reading a very suggestive email from the girlfriend (at a time when I had his permission to check his email for him while on a trip and having no internet).
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SilverOffline
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First of all he wouldn’t get no sleep for a few nights. Beside the point any ways… Being both adults, have a sit down and talk to him about it… let him know how you feel about this and give him a chance to tell you how he feels before it gets physical.
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FabulousOffline
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I would be honest and ask him about it in a very straight forward and calm way. I can’t answer more than that because my next response would depend on how he answers.
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This is my opinion. My opinions are in no way representative of those at the company where I work. This is just my opinion.
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GoldOffline
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CONFRONT HIM TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH. Right then and there a red flag should be going up! This is not acceptable and should not be ignored or brushed under the carpet. Personally, I would question his motives, not trust him and definitely would start checking the history of the computer to give you the clues to exactly who & when your spouse may be chatting online with another women.
If the marriage is on the rocks, consider counseling. Try to discuss calmly the situation and keep communication open. Is your husband feeling neglected, bored, lonely? Get to the bottom of why he is seeking out females online and try to get to the root of the problem and focus on resolving it.
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GoldOffline
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I would not trust a man in this situation. He has already taken a very bad step at that point. I don’t think men get such things out of their mind until they try to live it.
My opinion is that fantasy is great as long as it stays fantasy. But does it always stay that way?
I have my trust issues, but given time and enough provocative e-mails I would act on it too. This is why I never engage in that activity.
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SilverOffline
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First of all, my husband thinks computers are the devil. If he did figure out how to email or post obscene things on the internet then I would disconnect it. I know he wouldn’t know who to call or how to connect again.
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ModeratorOffline
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I lived that life over 7 years ago. It’s not pretty. I was quiet about it. I got in, printed everything and then waited. He was bound to goof up and he did….in the end, I ended up divorced and alone with 5 children—the youngest 6 mos, the oldest 17. I felt the guilt in the beginning because I could have ignored it but now I am so happy I did. He hasn’t changed much and my life is so much better without him. Seven years later I’m stronger-minded and happier than I’ve ever been.
Cheryl A. Phillips
The Daily Blonde
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SilverOffline
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Well for one thing that would never happen in my marriage! But let’s say it did…. I’d change the locks… plain and simple… taped to the outside of the doors would be copies of the email…. He would be on the street and i would OWN EVERYTHING!
But I know my husband and it would never happen…
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SilverOffline
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First, I would obtain some evidence in black and white and hold it as back-up in case he attempts to lie about it. Hopefully he will be honest with you and allow discussion in order to get to the REAL problem at hand. The main thing is communication and being honest with one another. Try to refrain from, anger, accusations and blame because that could cause him to clam up. My other advice would be to seek prosfessional counseling. I certainly wouldn’t like my significant other participating in this kind of activity either. You have a right to confront him if it hurts you or if you feel it’s a threat to your relationship.
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