Seven Tips for Passionate Lovemaking in Long-Term Relationships

Playfulness
When was the last time you giggled or even laughed in the middle of sex with your partner?
Do you tend to focus so much on performance that you forget sex is supposed to
be fun? Couples with a good sex life report the ability to be adventuresome, spontaneous,
and sometimes even silly in bed. Remember: the most important thing is to have a
shared experience of connection. Have you and your partner ever had a wonderful simultaneous
orgasm and then immediately burst into laughter at the sight of the silly
faces you just made? Good for you. This shows your ability to relax and be fully present
with each other.

Attentiveness
When it comes to romance, most of us make the mistake of giving what we would like
to receive. Being attentive means finding out what says, “I love you” to your partner.
Attentiveness conveys that you are thinking of your partner specifically. It means taking
the time to show appreciation for them each day. Keep in mind that your partner is
likely to be just as wonderful as your compliments. Feeling attended to and appreciated
is a natural aphrodisiac. Be creative: hide love notes for her to find throughout the day,
bring him a warm towel when he steps out of the shower, and if you are really feeling
generous, let her have the remote control!

Sensuality
Successful couples find ways to use the full range of their senses to be completely present
with each other during sex. When was the last time you gazed into the eyes of
your partner? Look them in the eye and hold that look until they know they are being
seen. Many people keep their eyes closed during sex. Try opening your eyes and looking
into your partner’s at the moment of orgasm. Seeing and being seen in this intimate
moment facilitates deep bonding. When your partner makes you feel good, do you let
them know it through your sounds? There is no greater turn-on than a turned on lover.
Go ahead – moan, groan, and ignore the phone. Now add smell, taste, and touch to
make the whole body an erogenous zone.

Spirituality
This may seem like an odd item on a list of good lovemaking tips, but I believe our
sexuality is deeply connected to our spirituality. We must overcome the sex-negative
attitudes of our culture, especially those of religious institutions and find within ourselves
a personal connection to the divine. Spiritual teacher Swami Muktananda once
wrote, “The body is a temple within which God dwells in the form of the Self.” The human
body is sacred and expressing our love through sex can be sacramental. It is time
for us to integrate, not separate, our sexuality and our spirituality. Both infuse human
life and help us rejoice in the beauty of being in love with our partner.

Intimacy ("In - To - Me - See")
Acceptance of yourself and your partner is a precursor to good sex over the long haul.
To love your sex, you must first love yourself. A person who is self-accepting will be
more comfortable allowing their partner inside because they are not ashamed of what
might be discovered there. On the other hand, self-critical people spend huge amounts
of energy projecting, defending, and hiding. This is not an environment where healthy
lovemaking is likely to grow. Love is about acceptance, forgiveness, and valuing the
ways your partner is different from you. Shame is about judgment, fear, and control.
There isn’t room in your bed for both of them.

Openness
There is a common and destructive myth that we shouldn’t have to talk about sex in a
relationship. We think we should be able to just mind-read our partner’s desires.
Wrong. Openness is directly related to one’s comfort with intimacy. It involves revealing
yourself in a personal way. Anybody can talk about sex in a campy, vague, or pejorative
manner. But can you be direct about it? Try saying “I like that a lot,” or “when you
do that plus this it drives me wild,” or “that is my favorite and it would be even better if
you would. ” Research indicates that sexual communication is highly correlated with
sexual satisfaction.

Novelty
Novelty keeps freshness and excitement in your lovemaking. Unfortunately, most couples
just stick to what they usually do in bed, and do it over and over by rote. But science
shows us that closed systems eventually deteriorate. Are you open to change? It
is important to introduce variety in your technique. Change it up. Perhaps you usually
come home, talk about your day, have dinner, relax, and then have sex before sleeping
(when you‘re exhausted). Reverse the order. Try making love shortly after you get
home. If it’s good, you’ll be starving so you can have dinner and talk. Or skip dinner and
feed her mangos and grapes in bed while you cuddle!
It’s important to understand that differences in desire (libido) are normal. It’s rare to find
two people with the same testosterone levels and sexual experiences, but you do have
a choice. You can take these differences personally and feel threatened, or you can
learn how to take advantage of them. Remember: In Bridge, a bad hand can be a winner
if you know how to play!

You can find Products to help with all this with me email me for infomation.