Learning who the Miss is in you after being a Mrs.

My divorce was official 1/2/08.  I spent so much of my 13 year marriage alone because my ex either was working or home on his computer composing music.  I felt the most alone the last 3 years of the marriage so I felt pretty much like I had plenty of alone time.  I started a relationship with a wonderful new man on 7/7/07.  Once I moved out of my home and into my apartment we have been together since.  He is wonderful.  

What I am learning in therapy with a psychologist that I love is that it is now the time to set my new destiny.  I am so used to being a wife that I am now learning to be a girlfriend.  Even though I live with my boyfriend; I watch myself from getting into the habit of being a wife.  

I think what makes it hardest to discover who I am and what I want is that I am limited because I have fibromyalgia so everyday I am in pain and exhausted.  I can’t just be whatever I want to be because of my limitations.  

I used to be this funny, energetic, quick witted person that my friends are still waiting to appear again.  I don’t know if the divorce changed me or it is my illness.  I am now much calmer, and more quiet and I no longer worry about anything.  I used to be a much more stressed person; but now I just let it all go.

Any good advice on what I should or could be doing to be the best I can coming out of this divorce.

One thing that I am truly happy to say is that I do not  have any hatred towards my ex or his family for things they have done.  I am glad that I do not waste any energy with negative feelings.  I had to meet up with him recently and I told him that I have moved on and I am happy and I hope that he finds the happiness he needs.  

Most people are surprised that I feel this way since he abandoned the marriage when I was ill.  He is not the first man to do so.  It is amazing how many men leave woman when they have breast cancer.  He was too weak to deal with it and I can’t change him.  I am just blessed to have a man now that is supportive of my health problems.

Hugs-
Dianne