It has been a long time since I posted an article here at Fab40…I am very sorry I haven’t not been diligent, but I have been taking a much needed break from all my blogging at various web sites to work on my upcoming book on women in MLC. Indeed, there is very little out there for women who are going through Mid-life Crisis…in fact, the age for the crisis keeps on dropping…but the textbook quality of what is happening is not changing…just what we are calling it.

Most books on MLC skim over the pain, hurt, confusion and frustration…they expect every woman to be able to breeze through the change or just pick themselves up by the boot straps and move on. The women that can do this are NOT in crisis…they are merely in transition. Transitioning women have the needed coping skills, support and a positive mindset to work through the changes that are occurring in their lives, while those who move in to crisis become lost because they don’t have the tools to fix or deal with what is going on….they need to go back to get or replenish their life’s toolbox.  Somewhere along the way…there has been a disconnect…a draining of their life’s cup…some have even lost their cup completely…for many women, age does not determine whether they are in crisis or not.

The age factor is becoming very apparent in my research for my book…our younger sisters and daughters who are 30-years old are now having the Quarter-Life Crisis (QLC), the 20-year olds are being lumped in with QLC’s, but I call them Bi-centennial-life Crisis (BLC)...if anyone knows the real name for this age…tell me…I can’t find it. BUT…all of these women are struggling with their identities, their significance, what makes them excellent; worthy…they want to create meaning in their lives…find happiness and abundance. Why? The meaning of the way we live our life in our society has changed over the years…what used to be taboo is no longer AND we live lives that are at a much faster pace with larger expectations attached. We are inundated with messages…definitions that do not correlate with the way we were raised or the way our parents were raised. In our day and time…just about anything goes…we consciously believe that we can live without boundaries and deal breakers BUT the fact that our family histories or legacies rule our days subconsciously, we tend to become fragmented, unbalanced…confused. In the end, whatever age you are, no matter what triggers or symptoms you are feeling or what you believe is causing the crisis…it all goes back to your perspective or your mindset…what you believe to be true!  

Knowledge, understanding, a positive mindset and a life strategy is the foundation and framework you need to live a life of significance, success and abundance. If you don’t have these things in your toolbox…it is time to go back and get them. Only you can do this…it is hard work…it takes perseverance, strength and a willingness to go full out! If you are at the point that you will do anything and everything to be happy…then start with your inner being first…do NOT rely on others to steer your life’s ship…YOU must be the master and commander of your life’s direction. Destructive behaviors, such as affairs, addictions, divorce, over spending are NOT an option…the mess you will make with these behaviors will only destroy you and those you love in the end. Do you really need to have others tell you their stories of how these behaviors destroyed them? Only teenagers believe that they are invincible…you are long past this stage…let’s start where you are and with who you are! Discernment will be your best friend throughout this change…you will have to sift through all the information that is given you and you use your brain, not your heart to discern things. Start using your brain first…your heart always follows…in fact…it is your brain that controls the heart…not the other way around…you heart is only the temperature gauge of how passionate you are about what the brain is thinking about. Wrap your mind around this understanding…if you can do this…you have made a grand step forward!  

Please stay tuned because I will be posting articles on this subject that will help you, but in the mean time, I highly recommend anyone wanting to get a head start, please purchase or download a copy of John Assaraf’s book, “Having It All: Achieving Life’s Goals and Dreams“. The audio version is the best because Mr. Assaraf reads the book himself and his passion for the subject is electrifying.  John Assaraf is a down to earth, intelligent and highly successful business man, coming from a meager upbringing in the streets to making millions through huge business endeavors such as his appearance in “The Secret” and soon “The Compass“.   Mr Assaraf personally applies all his theories and strategies to business and personal life…he has made this a way of life….and you can too! I have had great success and abundance in all aspects of life since reading, learning and using the techniques that John Assaraf teaches. I encourage anyone who is interested to come to womeninmlc.lefora.com, post questions, seek advice and join the Mindset for Life group study, I will introducing in the next few weeks.  

Finally, it really doesn’t quite matter what your age is anymore…all human beings move or transition through the seasons of life, this we have no control over…BUT…we do have control HOW we transition…we can either choose the transition, work and adjust to create positive change OR we can fall in to crisis, turn our lives upside down…destroy what is good and regret the bad and allow the change to eat us from the inside out. It IS your choice…which do you want…or should I say…which do you NEED?

Yellowbrick Road Wisdom:

“Dorothy: Oh will you help me? Can you help me?
Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.
Dorothy: I have?
The Scarecrow: Then why didn’t you tell her before?
Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.
The Tin Man: What have you learned, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Well, I – I think that it – it wasn’t enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em – and it’s that – if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with!”

Taken from Wikipedia on November 10, 2008. http://en.wikiquote.org/

My First Birthday - 1957

I recently posted a question at Fab40 asking how I could celebrate my upcoming 52nd birthday and the unanimous decision was that I should take a cruise or treat myself to a massage/spa day…take care of myself …relax and focus on myself!  All of your suggestions were excellent…I greatly appreciate each and every one of them….BUT…going on a cruise is just not in the cards (financially or time-wise) for me at this present time and since taking a whole day to pamper myself at a spa would take a bit of planning and arrangements, plus again finances are tied-up in the upcoming release of my book and the launch of my web site. So, after much thought I decided to think of ways that I could celebrate my 52nd birthday in a grand way using your suggestions in a way of sorts…but absolutely for FREE!  

Last night I DID take a cruise!  I took a cruise down memory lane!  I went to the Play list web site and created a Birthday Party Play list with all the songs that have had meaning for me throughout my life.  I was up till 3:30  in the morning…searching and compiling all the tunes, recalling all the happy memories, shedding a few tears at the sad ones and sharing stories with my children and husband, who slowly but surely gravitated toward my office when they heard the music.  Before we all knew it we were up dancing and singing, at times my kids sat listening to stories about my young and not so young life…amazed at what their mother had accomplished during her 52 years of her life.  With each song, I realized how important music has been in my life…many of my best memories are wrapped in the tunes that I love the most.  My taste in music has changed over the years…I could actually see growth and maturing within the music and lyrics that has brought me through the years; starting with Judy Garland’s “Over the Rainbow” to Tommy James and The Shondell’s “Crystal Blue Persuasion” to Barbra Streisand’s  “The Way We Were” to Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” to Mercy Me’s “ I Can Only Imagine”.  The Birthday Party Play list is posted here and at my profile along with a story from my 18th birthday.     If you would like to join me on my Birthday Cruise…take some time and scroll through the tunes and take a listen.  There are songs from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s up to the present…some are in order…some are not…most have stories attached…but I will not bore you with them right now…I am sure there are some that you can relate to, some you may have forgotten about…many are one hit wonders…but to me they all weave a pattern in the tapestry of my life.  I would love to hear some of your stories that you recall from some of these songs, if you have any.  Listening to this music is the most precious gift I could have given myself…because in the end this cruise down memory lane has shown me that I have already lived a very abundant and happy life…filled with ups and downs…ins and outs…it is a soundtrack that I would not change….they are golden oldies that make smile.

So, I am off to celebrate the rest of my birthday, dressed in a sparkling gold sweater, wearing my favorite gold earrings.  My family and I decided to eat our favorite meal (roast beef, mashed potatoes/gravy and Yorkshire pudding); build a fire, pop popcorn, watch my favorite old movies (The Wizard of OZ, Funny Face and Sound of Music).  Snuggling down with the people that I love the most is probably the best way that I can think of to celebrate a life well lived AND it doesn’t cost a penny…in fact it is downright priceless!

Happy Birthday to me!  These are the best years of our lives…make them golden!

The most popular topic on the Oprah.com lately has been about the two most recent visits by Dr. M. Gary Neuman, author of “Why Men Cheat”.  Women by the millions tuned in both days to find out the answer to this most frustrating, devastating and destructive subject, only to find out that, in a nut shell, it was primarily their fault.  Did you hear the deafening, angry screaming coming from all the homes of Oprah fans across the nation…probably across the world?  Every married woman, whether they had been cheated on or not, leapt out of their seats screaming, “Are you kidding me?  It’s MY fault! Oh, no, it’s NOT!  

Dr. M. Gary Neuman has got it wrong about why men cheat and he’ll have it wrong for women too!  

It doesn’t have anything to do with the marriage or the relationship or sex.  It has nothing to do with being a man or a woman…it has everything to do with being a broken human being.

Yes, it’s about attention…but NOT the fact that the spouse isn’t meeting the needs of their partner in the attention category.  

Yes, most marriages get consumed by the every day stresses of raising a family, working and taking care of their homes.  Marriage is work…relationships have their ups and downs…life happens.  Husbands and wives enter in to their marriages with expectations that are perpetuated by the media, entertainment and a society that is sexually over-stimulated with little moral fortitude.  This is a broad cultural explanation and not addressing the root causes of why human beings cheat on their mates.

The reason men AND women cheat is their mindset is wrong. They are relying on others to define them, feed their egos and fill holes that have been left empty since childhood.  It is a flaw or disconnect with the individual that is cheating.  Cheating occurs due to an inability to cope with an individuals life in the present, as a result of what has occurred in their past.  The spouse is paying the bill for all of the past sins, circumstances, relationships and experiences that is stuffed in the cheaters baggage.

My research  has shown most women and men who cheat are control freaks or perfectionists; either first-born, babies or only children in their families.  Yes, it’s more emotional than physical BUT if asked, you will discover certain personality traits, unresolved childhood issues that relate to physical/emotional abuse, exposure to addiction, broken homes or that their parents were cheaters too. Cheaters may have learned by example OR they’ve never met anyone’s expectations or even met their own. They search for someone who will except the fantasy person that they portray.

Most spouses are doing what Dr. Neuman suggests:  encouraging, paying attention, having intimacy.

On the first show there was the couple who was having great sex, family life, but he was still cheating!   Even this man was confused about why he was cheating. Why? It’s because it was NOT about his marriage, family or job. It WAS about him! He was subconsciously sabotaging his marriage, family and life.   One of the other couples sat there with same dazed “This is not it either.” look on their faces.  In the second show most of the couples seemed to not to accept what Dr, Neuman was saying…that it was about the attention they received from the other woman and the fact that the wife was not fulfilling her duties in giving the proper attention to her husband.  HOGWASH!

I was able to get my free download of Dr. M. Gary Neuman’s book titled “The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and How you Can Prevent It.” that was offered following the first Oprah show that he appeared on.  I have not read it yet and the above commentary is only on the Oprah shows that Dr. Neuman appeared and discussed why men cheat.  

To be honest the audience was filled with uncomfortable and guilt ridden men and their wives that only wanted answers to why their husband cheated on them.  To say that the women could not accept Dr. Neuman’s explanation for why they cheat, would be an understatement.  Most of the men sat taller in their seats as the doctor pointed the finger at the ladies, saying that they had to work harder at paying attention, having gratitude for what their husbands provided and did for them. Yet, when several women countered the good doctor on his direction by saying that this is a two way street with in the marriage AND that there is no excuse for cheating, especially in the case that a man’s ego is not being fed.  These women were angry and insisting, if not demanding that their husbands were not teenage boys with raging hormones, but mature adults that should be able to keep a moral code and ethic and not become weakened because their egos were not being stroked properly.  Many women in the audience refused to accept the doctors theory and the commentary rages on in this vein after the show and on in the forums under this very same topic.

By the end of the show, the men were slouching in their seats again in a pool of their guilt, wondering why they did what they did, while their wives sat on the edges of their seats waiting to hear the correct answer or the real truth to ‘Why men cheat?”  

The solution to the cheating problem in both men and women has to come from the person who is cheating. Resolving childhood issues, finding their true north, practicing positive mindset which include affirmations,  positive visualizations and healing their inner being, which will recalibrate a cheaters life.  It is NOT about the wife and what she is or is not doing.  It is NOT about the fact that the husband isn’t getting enough sexual satisfaction.  It is NOT about the marriage or the relationship.  It is about the cheater sending out the vibration of a cheater, so they attract those who will help them cheat.  It is about the emptiness that was there within the man or the woman even at the beginning of the marriage.  The wife or husband has been able to fill the hole or feed the need until the cheater needs to up the ante, increase the dosage…get an attention fix. They choose to cheat!  We are talking about a new type of addiction here…the addiction to people or attention…it is like a drug.  Just like in other addictions the root lies in the past, in unresolved issues, low self-esteem, poor decisions and destructive behaviors.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?  It IS an addiction…not treated correctly…they will cheat again.  

To blame the spouse for the cheaters actions is justification, rationalization and pointing blame in the wrong direction. The blame sits squarely on the cheater!  It is up to the cheater to dig deep, work hard at resolving their problems and holding to their commitment to not choose to pick up their addiction again.

Dr.Neuman, you are wrong…wrong…wrong!  Your explanation is only perpetuating this epidemic of cheating by pointing the finger of blame at the faithful partner.  Shame on you!

This article was primarily written for men…yet it is important for the ladies to read also…you may see yourself in it.  To know and understand the Mid-Life birthing process, the easier it will be to go through it.

Mid-Life Crisis (MLC) is very much like childbirth…whether it be for a man or a woman, it is the re-birthing of a person….it has it’s stages of labor…and we transition from one stage to another.  Many women handle this birthing better than others…many choose to take medication or numb themselves to get through it, while others opt to have a C- section and remove themselves, so they can be reborn….while some learn about their bodies, understand the process, know what to do when certain things  happen and allow their H’s to play the role they are given in the process.   

The childbirth method I am speaking of is called The Bradley Method…it is a totally non-medicated/avoid the C- section method.  It is a hands on coaching method, where the H plays a key role in the coaching and monitoring a women’s progress in childbirth.  You could probably say that we here are the instructors on how to preform The Bradley Method of MLC…we are trying to teach women how to get through their MLC without medication, allowing their H to play the role of moderator of those things that may get in the way of successfully birthing themselves in to excellent, significant and graceful women…a re-birth with no regrets in the end.  

No matter how you look at it…childbirth is childbirth…it is never painless….MLC is MLC and it is never painless.  In both, you have choices to make…methods to use to avoid a purely horrific birth, problems and tragedy.   The transitions are within the process or stages of the MLC or childbirth.  This is what the women are referring to….they transitioning through the stages of the process of a MLC.  They are really one in the same…not two different things.     

If more women approached their MLC in a Bradley way, like they approach childbirth…then you would probably see more women going through it with less pain and hurt and they would be partnering with their H’s to get it done.   

I have always considered writing extensively in this manner because it makes sense…women can relate to this metaphor…many have gone through childbirth and understand how it works.

As H’s…think about how your W dealt with her pregnancy and childbirth…Is she following suit with her MLC?  Is she choosing medication or is she opting for the section?    It would be interesting to hear if their is a relationship here…please let us know.

Interesting comparison between the Bradley method of childbirth and MLC :

Bradley teaches that if a woman has chosen to not have medication or a section at childbirth there is a stage where the labor becomes extremely difficult.  A women’s tolerance for the pain becomes next to non-existent.  This is when the woman will start asking for or even demanding to have medication, even if her original decision was to go without.   Bradley teaches that at this point it is the H’s job as coach to talk her through the labor pain, telling her that this is the sign that she will start pushing soon and within a short time the baby will arrive.  If the H doesn’t do a good job at coaching and allows the W to medicate at this point, contractions will slow down, problems may occur during the pushing stage and the result may be detrimental to the health and progress of the newborn after the birth and the recuperation of the mother.  

The MLC Bradley Method:  The H’s job is to be the coach, the moderator/mediator…He is watching…he is making decisions…he is determining whether or not the W is truly moving in to the next stage or transition.  He is looking out for the signs that are very apparent of what happens and doing what he can to make sure that the W has a healthy re-birth.  The differences:

First stage:

 W is not happy, smiling, discontent…struggling, overwhelmed. (Take a picture of your W or look at pictures of your W back when she was not necessarily saying that she unhappy…what do you see?  If you see, non-verbal messages of her discontent, such as forced smiles, distance or ensuring you are not close in pictures, distance from your children or not touching, absence from pictures completely) this was your first sign…you missed it.
 

Your job: Acknowledge the fact that you see that she is visibly not happy.  Help her to realize that you understand what she is going through.  Get her the help that she needs.  Make her as comfortable as possible, because the real work is yet to come.  She is labor and there is much more that you will be dealing with…Prepare ahead of time…know and state your boundaries and deal breakers…make sure the two of understand that you will be going through this together.  Knowing what you will do in the worst case scenario will save you from having to think on your feet, shock and making mistakes that you and she will regret.

Second stage:

In-efficient dealing with the labor pains of MLC: filling the empty space with material things, partying, getting new friends…dramatically changing their look…escaping…keeping secrets, lies, deceit….or more importantly deep depression, inability to meet her obligations and responsibilities.  This is the longest stage…just as in childbirth…how you handle this one will determine if the rest of this process will be a healthy one or be disastrous…   This is the stage that women are already self-medicating with A’s, spending money, thinking or or acting on D or separation…they have already chosen that they will self-medicate way back in the first stage…the one that you missed…this is like the woman who goes in and gets the epidural from the get-go or even the planned C-section…she has made her plan…she will not deal with the pain…she pushes the Easy button.  You are out of the picture from the start…you are not her coach…you have to say “No!” in how she will birth her new self.  Many women decide to go it alone continuing to self-medicate, extending the birthing process with more pain, hurt and frustration…sometimes the labor pains stall completely, which ends up having them medicate more with more things that will only make the labor longer and harder…they no longer have their coach…they have ensured that he is sitting out in the waiting room waiting for the news that she is done or she has dismissed him completely by telling him he is NOT a part of this labor…it is hers and hers alone.  Even if he was brought in to the situation, he would be ineffective because he has never had a voice in the process any ways…UNLESS…he comes back in to the situation and takes over where he should have been in the first place….taking control and insisting on what is right and in the best interest of the woman and her family.  The problem with this and what is key…the woman NEEDS to listen and allow the guidance and coaching from the H…if she doesn’t…then it is still totally out of the H’s hands.  If he had been involved in the first place, he would have been able to tell her that she was getting ready to see the light at the end of the tunnel (no pun intended)...she would be seeing a healthy woman, who is happy…living an excellent, significant and graceful life with out the regrets of prior mistakes that were made during the birthing process/transition.   

Pushing stage:

  Healthy scenario: A woman does the work, gets the help that they need to resolve childhood issues, dealing with grief, gains coping skills…works on herself in a positive manner, along with seeking maintaining her health in that it  promotes the best possibilities for herself, her marriage and family.   In the end, the best possible scenario is that she is able to regain her M/R…BUT…it may also mean that a woman decides, even after the H has coached her through the process that her birthing will only occur outside of the M/R…in the end the H may still be dismissed to the waiting room or even straight out of the hospital for good, because his presence in her mind is impeding her progress. The question at this point would be if indeed there were things that were in the M/R that were indeed impeding her progress…only you will know this for sure.  Decisions even at this stage can turn out disastrous.   The woman that is born…is still-born or has major defects in her re-birth…all will have to be dealt with in some way or another.  

NOTE to H’s:  All the anger, name calling, resentment that you may hear at this point in the birthing process is exactly the same as the anger and frustration that you hear from your W when in childbirth…she is working hard…she is lashing out because of the intense pain…it is not really about you…she is screaming at the pain…hit the ignore button…it is not about you…it is about her pain.

Interesting fact about this process:  Many women who go through this process tend to have the same sort of ability to forget the worst of the pain and hurt that has happened while laboring through MLC.   Do NOT be surprised by this…this is why your W’s come back and expect to be friend’s…her recall of the experience has been all encompassing…the brain, just as in childbirth is amazing in that it conveniently forgets the intensity of the pain…the job of a healthy woman who has gone through this process is to remember what she has done wrong and what she has done right during the process or she will go through the process all over again.   A woman needs to be able to check the signs, listen to her body or her mental state and adjust accordingly, so she will not have to go through this again.  This is also true of the H, whether it be with their W or another new relationship…don’t forget what you have already seen and lived through…it is your best protection.

(C) Amy L. Harden 2008

““She’s Happily Married, Dreaming of Divorce““:http://www.cnn.com/ an article by Ellen Tien, a columnist at the Oprah Magazine was recently brought to my attention and asked to comment on it. Eagerly I clicked the link and began reading, wondering why it had been sent to me in particular for comment.  As I read through the paragraghs, I soon realized why my friend had sent me this diatribe on a woman who claimed to be happily married, but secretly dreamed of being divorced…it was a perfect word picture of the many women that I write about, coach and speak to at events.  Most importantly Ms Tein seemed to be planting the seed in her female readers minds that these feelings, dreams and desires were alright AND that their complaints and discontent were something that all wives have in common…so why not dream of divorce…in a very subtle way she was giving women permission to even act on their divorce dreams…she said it without even saying it.  The resulting disgruntled and mostly negative comments that followed seemed to bear my overall reaction to the article out.  I was unable to add my comments to the long list due to the fact that CNN had suspended commentary…so, I bring my comments here to our lovely group, just in case you read this article in the May issue of “O” magazine or caught it on the web.

Yes, this IS a thoroughly depressing view of marriage…yet a real…true statement of where our view of marriage is and has become.  Not only is this a depressing view of marriage…it is also a horrible statement on the role of women in the United States and maybe even the world today.  I am not talking about our roles as wives and mothers…I am talking about our view of who we are as women in today’s world.  

Women today are so caught up with being DIVAS and bitches…being bulldogs instead of being women of excellence, significance and grace….elegant.  We have taken the power that we gained through equality and morphed it into something bigger than we can truly handle.   We convince ourselves that the grass is really greener on the other side and forget that all who risk checking out the greener grass discover that the grass is green no matter what side of the fence they are on…no matter whose backyard they are in…Green IS green.  

Articles like this one are extremely harmful to women, their families and their marriages.  It gives permission to many women who are on the fence…trying to decide if they should remain in their own backyard or explore others.  It allows a women to sense a feeling that they are not alone in their questioning…in their discontent…it fans a fire that naturally comes around at mid-life…one that every one of our mother’s had …even our grandmothers…but society at the time did NOT give them permission to explore it. This article and other books that are being written on women in MLC are encouraging women to throw their morals and ethics aside, grant themselves permission to step out of their responsibilities and roles and be mavericks…focusing purely on themselves, their wants , needs and desires.  It is shallow!  It IS narcissistic!  But then that is what our society has been growing, ever since the “ME generation” came in to existence….it is just a continuation of the thought pattern.  It didn’t really work then…it doesn’t work now.

As usual, women of the United States easily eat up what ever the media or Oprah feeds them…convinced that this is the gospel truth.  The fact that this article appears in Oprah’s magazine MUST mean that she agrees with the author. it must be okay…Right?! NO!!! Not even Oprah expects everyone to accept what she feeds them…she does expect women and men to be discerning in what information she is providing.  Not even Oprah agrees with all the people who are on her guest coach on certain subjects.

This is what is important about this article…indeed this is a problem that many women today are struggling with…in fact the majority of women at middle age deal with these very same questions, discontent and inability to cope with their lives as they know it.  The problem with this article IS…the author infers that it is okay to feel this way AND she even plants the seed that it is okay to even act upon these thoughts.  This is NOT okay.  The “everybody else is doing it “bandwagon is in full tilt here.  Who says this at 40, 50, and 60 years old?  Women and men who have not matured enough to evaluate their circumstances clearly…measure their emotions and the possibilities of their actions if indeed they decide to act upon leaving their marriage…that’s who says this sort of thing.  A teenager throws this response at their parent when they have been caught drinking, smoking or having sex.  Are we to accept that it is okay as mothers and wives…women…that because we are presently discontent it is okay to act like our children?  How is that being a good role model?  

Ladies, we do not have to accept every message that the media or people of other viewpoints are throwing at us. Just because we ALL feel discontent, boredom, empty, frustrated and confused about our lot in life does NOT mean that we throw away our marriages and our family as we know it today. We have the power to change it…we have to realize that the answers are living in our own backyards…the power lies with in US….not our husbands…our children…our homes.  

Everything this author has pointed out in her story as a point of contention in this marriage is in this women’s control…she has just chosen not to do something about it…she has chosen to be a victim of her own circumstances. As she points the blame at her husband and children, she is preparing her justifications for any actions or behaviors she might take in the future, no matter how right or wrong.  

As women and even as men…we need to look at our hand when we are pointing blame and giving ourselves permission…one finger points at another person…all the rest are pointing back at ourselves…who’s to blame?  Who ends up being the victims in the end?  Think about it!

Final words:  We end up sacrificing our life legacy by selfishly seeking temporary pleasures or successes and being a part of a women’s movement that is still trying to figure who they are in the grand scheme of things…we end up throwing our husbands and children under the bus….we end up only hurting ourselves.

www.womenimlc.lefora.com/forum/

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(C)Amy L Harden 2008 All rights reserved.