I ask because I need to know if I’m normal. I’ve had so many different and varied jobs and alleged careers that I’m thinking maybe I need to go back to “What Color Is Your Parachute?” Except that at this point I’m … well, fabulously beyond 40.  

Yes, there’s a midlife condition going on here, but I’m still working, still starting over and over and over again when necessary. My heart is in theatre and music but I am way too “fabulous” to try that riff again.

I acted in some TV commercials when I was a little kid, and as a young woman I did a few more before going into commercial producing, instead of acting, and then I wrote commercials. Career #1.

#2. I trained in high school and college to be an actress. That never materialized into a career, so I never made money from it. But the training took many years of my life. I’ll just call acting a “shadow” career.

#3. As a young woman I began to study voice and music, and trained to become a jazz singer. This one I actually made money at, but the money was very paltry indeed, and the “work conditions” (think smokey jazz club, right?) were something I’d never repeat at this stage in my life.

#4. More sane was Career #4, when I taught voice and jazz theory. It was my first grown-up type thing that made a steady income and actually made me feel … NORMAL! “Normal,” as in, you work, you get paid, you go home type thing.

#5. During this time I wrote a guidebook for singles, and it was picked up by Collier/Macmillan and published. This was eons ago, and it would have been a “normal” career with the tiny little exception that aside from the advance the publisher paid me, I made not a penny more. I gave up music and wrote another book, couldn’t get it published, so – why, well then, it makes sense, right? – I wrote yet another book that is still not published. (And another.)

#6. Having always been a child of the ‘60s, a boomer, whatever you want to call it, I was quite familiar with the Tarot cards, on which I depended for many of my major life decisions. Some wire went off in my brain and I thought, “Hey!“, so I got a job with a huge 900-line company, reading people’s Tarot cards on the telephone. I must say, the money was good, but after the initial rush I realized that the company was charging customers nearly $4.00 a minute for these readings, and most of my callers seemed to be unaware of how quickly that adds up. Some people even called me from prison. It was stressful, because they desperately wanted to hear some specific good news, and I’ve always done the Tarot as a general trend finder rather than an accurate mind-reading type thing. It began to become intolerable, as with one lady I just threw down my deck of cards and said, “Do not let this man back into your house. He tried to shoot you, for Goshake. Get a caller ID and don’t take his calls.”  

Career #7. Wanting desperately to join the boomer mainstream, I took a course in day trading. It was actually fun, and challenging, so I took a longer, more formal course, and loved it. Loved the people, loved the support groups, loved the idea of making money in an up or a down market, and looked on my financial charts as works of art. Here was the catch: you have to have a certain, shall we say, unshakeable emotional makeup in order to do well as a day trader. It is the most edge-of-your-seat thing I’ve ever done, and that includes riding in the front car of the roller coaster as a kid. OMG. Every second there’s an excitement of some sort that pops onto the computer screen. If you‘re not totally cool headed, you won’t survive. I made no money at all.

#8. Sales & Marketing Director for a small company. What can I say? I did everything “right,” I did networking lunches, joined stuff, hand-delivered compelling marketing material to potential clients. After almost a year of this I still hadn’t made one penny.  

#9. I’m now on my last and final and dammit, successful career. I’ve got a number of websites with Google Adsense on them, and by gosh and golly, holy cow, craters on the moon, and I’ll be darned, they are making money. Not a lot, because I’m just starting out. But enough to let me know I’m on the right track. This, too involved a lot of coursework and studying, but it’s OK. It’s fun and interesting, and I get to help animals, which are ultimately my true love. (My main site is based around a list of cosmetic companies that don’t do animal testing and/or are vegan cosmetics.)

So tell me, my fabulously-40 friends, what about you? Have you gone through many careers / jobs before finding one you could live with?

Namaste,
Suzann
http://www.MyMakeupMirror.com/

1. Men, women, and children all need to be selective about personal care products. Something as innocuous as shampoo can contain all kinds of toxins, from methylisothiazoline (which may cause damage to children, infants, and fetuses) to diethanolamine, or DEA (which may be carcinogenic or cause a reaction in other shampoo ingredients that may become carcinogenic). Sunscreen, soap, deodorant, cosmetics, and body lotion are all better purchased at the health food store or from a brand that has ingredients listed and explained on its website.  

2. More and more people are giving up alcohol. If you take more than two drinks a day, you may want to look into it.  

3. I’m not going to mention smoking, because you already know that. (I guess I just mentioned it.)  

4. Becoming a vegetarian is thought by many experts to be not only healthier, but also easier on the environment. It’s certainly easier on the animals. Something to consider and read up on. Whether you‘re vegetarian or not, eating wholesome, locally grown foods, or products you trust from the health food store. Any “food” that has no nutrition should not be considered edible.  

5. Keep heavy-duty killer items out of reach of children and pets. We‘re talking rust removers, automotive products, solvents of any kind, spray cans, paint, pesticides – you know the drill. It’s not that we don’t know to do this, it’s that we may be putting off cleaning the garage. Don’t procrastinate cleaning and organizing the garage, the basement, the tool shed, and any storage areas.  

6. One problem with reading an ingredient list from a product’s label is that they sometimes change the name of a wayward ingredient slightly, or may substitute another chemical for a popularized carcinogen, with that substitute ingredient being of unknown toxicity. The best way to read a list is to do it front of your computer and Google each ingredient. The second best way to read a list (and a quicker way) is to use products that have their ingredients laid out on their website, easy to read, and explained. Most natural food lines, vitamin companies carried in reputable health food stores, earth-friendly products, and wholesome cosmetic brands, will do this.  

2. For more information about cosmetics and toxins, see: Lipstick Without Toxins (scroll bar is on the right)

Okay, I'm looking everywhere because there's no point in wasting even one little penny these days. It turns out I found a bunch of money I had no idea was hiding around my house. Here's where I found some:

Under the bed and in the laundry hamper (loose change and bills)

Under the couch cushions

Boyfriend’s blue jeans’ pockets (he had forgotten, some of it went through the washer)

eBay – OMG. Have you any idea how easy it is to sell on eBay? I could be nuts but I sold a bunch of weird stuff on eBay and it was fun. An old doll, a first edition children’s book (got a lot for that one), an old coin. Other ideas might be: vintage jewelry, collectables (comics, Starbucks teddy bears, old video games, vinyl recordings), real jewelry, lamps, pet beds, electronics, tools, extra tiles or wallpaper if you’ve recently renovated. Here’s the thing about eBay: you don’t need to buy any books on how to sell on eBay. The instructions on the site are easy to follow, and it’s easy to set up an account with them.

Yard sales, garage sales

Craig’s List – Again, it’s so easy to set up an account with them and sell stuff. Craig’s list is best for local sales, where someone can come and pick up the item – so furniture, rugs, and car parts would be good here.

I put a $20. bill in my car glove compartment when I bought the car six years ago, and promptly forgot it was there. Do you have places you’ve hidden cash?

Amazon – You can sell your good-condition used books on Amazon. Again, just go to there website and they tell you have to do it.

Here’s a good one: I went through each of my credit card statements line by line, and found two items that were recurring charges for something I forgot I had signed up for. So I immediately cancelled those things, and voila – more cash in my pocket.

Now I need to know: What have I forgotten here? Where do you guys look for hidden cash around your home? For more money and abundance ideas, check out my new website at Women-Lifestyles

Books on the subject say that while nightmares are common in children, they go away as we become adults. I’ve never been a textbook case of anything.  

If you suffer from nightmares, night terrors, or even unpleasant dreams, here are some cures I've used that have worked. You're welcome to try any or all. All you will need is a journal or spiral notebook.  

1. Examine what you ate or drank the night before. If necessary, keep a food journal. Write down everything from the pepper you put on your peas to the chardonnay you had with the garlic bread to the cinnamon apple pie. There may be a food or even a small ingredient to which you‘re allergic – and for some, this can cause nightmares.  

2. Some of us still have a little kid inside who gets frightened by certain events during the day, or even gets fear set off by a “trigger.” For example, large men with booming voices “trigger” a fear reaction in me, and if I don’t acknowledge it during the day when it happens, I’ll often have a nightmare about it that night. Make a list of what your triggers are, and after a nightmare, go back over the day before to see if something was ignited.

3. Personal issues that you haven’t yet dealt with can cause nightmares. When I was in my teens I noticed from my journal that every time I ate meat I would have horrible nightmares that night. As an experiment, I gave up meat. The nightmares stopped.  

4. Certain medications can cause bad dreams. A few years ago, my doctor prescribed Xanax for me for a few days, to help me with a family crisis. The first night I took it, I had terrifying dreams with dream symbols I didn’t recognize (often our dream symbols become familiar), and a dream “shadow” that followed me through the next day. I don’t know for sure if the Xanax caused this, but I do know I’ll never take another one.

4. If you tend to fall asleep with the TV on, make sure you’ve got it programmed to turn off by itself after a certain period of time. And make sure you‘re tuned to a station that’s neutral. We may be fabulously 40 and beyond, but some of us are still vulnerable to the Freddy Kruegers, the monster tidal wave movies, and the news.

5. If none of the above techniques stops your nightmares, deeper work is needed. When you have a bad dream, start writing down not just the dream, but every tiny little detail – and then analyze it all. Figure out what deep, base, heart and soul-issues are in need of repair in your life. And then make a conscious, step by step effort to heal. You may be able to heal simply by analyzing your dream symbols and realizing what they are trying to tell you – and then working on that part of your life. Or you may choose to get the help of a therapist.

A note: Don’t trust any book with “standard” lists of dream symbols. Each person’s symbols are unique to them. Even the archetypal symbols that Jung speaks of, can carry different nuances for different people. I’ve discovered that cats in my dreams symbolize love. My S.O., while he likes cats, isn’t in love with them – and a cat in his dream usually symbolizes an intrusion of some sort.  

I’m through with the pop psychology idea that nightmares are “gifts.” I want them gone!  

Feel free to check out my brand new website, targeting personal issues, at Women-Lifestyles.com

The stereotype of the “old” person often carries with it a creaky, fragmented, fried, grating voice. And you know what? That’s just not the case any more.

Just as 50 is the new 40, and I’ve gotta say, 60 is the new 50, so also are our voices staying young. And a speaking voice is SO a part of who we are, how we feel about ourselves, and how others perceive us.

A singing voice? That doesn’t have to wilt with age, either. Even if you‘re fabulously 40 and beyond, and you want to START singing, yes! I say, do it! Okay, I do hate my neck … but my voice will stay gorgeous forever. And yours can too.

If you're a singer, you probably already know how to care for your voice: a well-learned, well-practiced classical breathing technique. Even if you sing rock, you'll want to use classical breathing. This will keep your voice from being damaged, and will usually prevent nodes on your vocal cords. (If you need to learn how to breathe to sing, check out my website, Vocal Vibrance. I'm still adding articles, it's brand new.)

Even if you don’t sing, a rich, lush speaking voice is just such a pleasure to listen to. And again, keeping your speaking voice “in shape” will assure a beautiful voice for your entire life.

How to Care For Your Voice
1.  Even if you don’t sing, learning to breathe from the abdominal area (instead of shallow breaths from the upper chest) will help keep your voice healthy.  

2. Never speak “from your throat,” that is, without any breath under it at all. You can tell a “throat-speaker” because the voice will sound pinched, tight, and nasal. Breathe deeply – make it a habit. And you might try relaxation exercises for the neck and upper chest (if your doc says it’s ok :) ) or yoga stretching exercises. These will all help get your voice out of your throat.

3. At sports games or in noisy night clubs, never yell or strain your voice. That’s just a total no. Yelling is a disaster.

4. Drink your water or juice tepid, not ice cold. I don’t know the physiology behind this, but I do know from years of singing professionally and teaching voice, that ice cold beverages are to be avoided. (I’ve never had a problem with warm or hot beverages.)  

5. Keep your body in shape (insert doctor thingee disclaimer thingee here:) ), no matter what your weight situation is. Yoga is great because it keeps the spine supple, at least for me that’s been my experience. It keeps the body flexible, and that, wholistically, affects the voice.

6. The most powerful voice-killer, aside from yelling, is cigs and whiskey. If you‘re totally into the basement jazz club blues scene and you want to lower your voice a few octaves and you don’t mind dying young, yes – do the cig/whiskey thing. It gives the voice a “je ne sais quoi,” a sound of perhaps an awful lot of worldly experience.  

Mel Torme sang beautifully, impeccably, velvety, until the day he died. His voice changed over the years, but always sounded beautiful. You can sound beautiful, too. Always!

Every six weeks I have this huge decision to make. Yes, I am a working woman, experienced, rad feminist, “my own person,” BUT … I am so holding on to having color in my hair. I’ve always had mohagony, auburn, henna, even carrot-top colored hair. Once I went blond (but went quickly back to chestnut).  

A good friend of mine let her hair go gray. She’s GORGEOUS. Her silver jewelry looks divine, and she’s cute as a button. She’s a professional dealing with the public; confident; funny, smart; looks great in all clothes; and is just “So?” about her gray hair. It’s a non-issue for her.

My beautiful little sister let her hair go gray. And she’s beautiful as always. Except now she’s not dumping carcinogens on her head every six weeks or spending an entire Saturday dealing with a henna application. (I’ve been using henna and non-animal tested color from the health food store for the last few years.)

Every six weeks, I have enough gray hair grown back, to take the plunge. (I’d have to go from red to light brown, and 6 weeks later to dark blond, etc. in order to not look too terribly freakish during the transition.)

But I’m such a diva. I admit it – I’m still trying to look a certain way, I still get a charge out men’s second glances. I don’t know if I could go through with gray hair. It’s a part of myself (my youth? my perception of my youth?)that I’m having a hard time letting go of. But I want to. I want to be the age I am. I want the authority I’ve earned over the years. I want to be the mature person on the outside that I can be (sometimes) on the inside.

And that six week mark is coming up again.  

My question to my Fab.40 Sisters: How do you all handle your hair color? For those of you who have gone from color to gray, was it a huge deal? Did it change your life?

Love to you all,
Suzann
http://www.mymakeupmirror.com/