Unfaithful men seem to be everywhere nowadays.  Your chances of becoming involved with an unfaithful man in this day and age are great.  Yet, the age-old question of why men are unfaithful is difficult to answer.  Infidelity touches all types of people, rich or poor.  Hally Berry’s ex-husband, Eric Benet, was notorious for cheating on one of the most beautiful, successful women in Hollywood.  Hugh Grant chose a street hooker for his sexual escapade even though he had the incredible looking actress Elizabeth Hurley for a girlfriend.  Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller.  Jennifer Lopez supposedly requested Ben Affleck to sign a pre-nuptial agreement promising fidelity after an evening with strippers.  Catherine Zeta-Jones had a section regarding Michael Douglas’s promised fidelity written into their pre-nuptial.  Fidelity pre-nuptial agreements are becoming the norm for women with big bank accounts or those entering into relationships with famous or wealthy men.

According to a poll from WomanSavers.com, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have the strongest Hollywood marriage.  In another WomanSaver’s relationship poll of over 143,806 women, WomanSavers.com of over 143,806 women, 1 (15,693) had never caught their partner cheating, 35 (50,403) suspected their partner but never caught him and 54% (77,710) caught their partner cheating red handed.
This doesn’t say much for the current monogamy rates in our society.

Long-term monogamy is difficult for most men, even those that aren’t far away from their lady.  However, it is not only men that cheat, but also women.  Take for instance, Meg Ryan, who left her husband Russell Crowe for an affair.  Statistics differ on who cheats more – men or women.  Most statistics still say that men are more unfaithful but that may change in the future.  However, if two people really love each other and want to be with each other, they’ll have the strength to withstand temptation.

The lives of wealthy celebrities are quite different from the average persons. Looking at celebrities tells us very little about the average couple or as to the reasons why men are unfaithful because their lives are so different. A famous actor has women throwing themselves at him on a regular basis, whereas most average guys don’t. Even if a male celebrity restrains himself the majority of the time, there may be that one time when he gives in.  While the average man may face the temptation to be unfaithful once in a while, it’s not likely to happen as often.

Most husbands probably have the urge to cheat at one time or another.  Those that choose not to respect their partner and their relationship too much to risk it.  Many experts feel that an unfaithful man cheats because he is in an unhealthy relationship that already had existing problems.  It would be interesting to know how many men who are in happy relationships are unfaithful.

However, what are the reasons as to why men are unfaithful?  Sometimes it can be a simple reason, other times a complex combination of reasons.  Are unfaithful men simply insatiable sexually?  Is an unfaithful man really controlled by his “privates” and not his mind?

Various statistics claim that the more attractive a person is, the more likely they will be unfaithful because their opportunities to cheat increase.  However, just because you marry an ugly guy doesn’t mean he won’t be unfaithful.

Reasons why men are unfaithful in a happy relationship may be because they are selfish or to pump their ego.  Cheating is an extremely selfish act and men who cheat rarely think about their partner’s feelings when committing the act. Since a cheating man lacks respect for his lady, he is obviously much more likely to make moves on a sexy lady.  

Are men’s genes really that out of control that they can’t remain faithful?  Expert’s views are divided.  Some experts state unfaithful men cheat because they are lonely or simply as an escape.  Since men are taught not to show or communicate their feelings, stopping the cheating behavior becomes even more difficult.  Sometimes having sex is the only way a cheating man can even achieve an emotional bond. Because of this, it isn’t surprising that when men cheat, many times their emotional needs are not met at all.  Those cheating men that suffer from the guilt associated from the affair, may experience a mix of emotions ranging from lashing out in anger, depression or being overly nice.  It’s a vicious cycle and one that is hard to break.

Then enter the pills such as Viagra and Cialis, and men do not have a proper chance to discover other forms of intimacy as they age.  Many women look forward to their retirement years when their relationships will focus more on the communication aspect of their relationships but with the inventions of these pills, this is no longer possible.

A cheating man is more likely to stay in a relationship if there is a long relationship history of time, there are intertwined monies or if there are children.  However, these reasons are not enough to stay in an unhappy relationship while lying to your partner and endangering their health by having unprotected sex.  Our advice.  Seek counseling and work on it or get out.  Nuff said.

Compiled by Online Dating Expert Stephany Alexander, author of Sex, Lies & the Internet - An Online Dating Survival Guide and founder of WomanSavers.com.

Why men cheat on women is an age-old question.  The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied.  Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat.  Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision.  Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.

So why do some men cheat in relationships?  Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it.  Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce.  However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp?  Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions?  Apparently not always.

Here are the top 10 reasons why men cheat.

1.  Because they had the option.  The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true.  Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

2.  It boosts their ego.  Sometimes men no longer feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex  and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more.  There is nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt.  When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.

3.  You grow apart.  Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought.  He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf.  He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.

4.  You argue a lot.  Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner.  Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.

5.  They have fallen out of love.  Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out.  They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons.  However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere.  In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

6.  Your sex life stinks.  If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair.  Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying.  It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from becoming boring and non-existent.  Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.

7.  To get revenge.  A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him.  How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?

8.  It’s new, different and exciting.  Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger.  The same goes for sex with a woman.  That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

9.  To see if they can get away with it.  If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it.  However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.

10.  Because you have allowed it in the past.  If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.  

Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons.  Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest.  After all, Karma can be a bitch.

Written by Woman Saver.com ©

Abusive Men: Top 10 Ways to Spot an Abusive Man

Abusive men always think there is a reason behind a woman’s actions and her words. They see her as only trying to influence. They rarely look at goodness in her. They frequently suspect her of doing things they are not guilty of and are easily irritated by her, especially when she is in  a good mood. These men might feel they love these women but inside they do not “like” them. The most important thing in any relationship is to be respected and liked.  Abusive men always want to show her up and put her down. They thrive on making her feel inferior in everything. The object is to tear her down to make her feel weak, insecure and co-dependent. It is a double-edged sword: a no win situation. The woman spends years trying to prove she’s not bad but it’s useless. No matter what she does, he doesn’t care so it is futile for her to try to prove she is worthwhile.  Here are the Top 10 Ways to Spot an Abusive Man.

1. He’s got a history of drug abuse and/or alcohol, and possibly violence.

2. He has record of being arrested for domestic violence.  Do your homework and do a background check and search the internet for his name.

3. He has a poor or no relationship with his mother or ex partners.

4.  He speaks negatively about all his past relationships, blaming them fully.  If at all possible, try to speak to these women to hear their point of view. If he badmouths them, you may be next.

5.He exhibits an over-bearing, aggressive personality.  You may be attracted by his apparent confidence, strength, determination and aggressive personality – the kind of qualities you think you lack.  However, this personality type can also be a red flag for abusive behavior.

6. He talks at length, bragging about himself. Narcassistic men are famous for abuse because in their mind, they can do no wrong.

7.He expects a big return on his venture. He may seem happy to put your needs and wishes first for a little while, but it will not be long before he throws it in your face by saying: “Look at everything I do for you.  You owe me!”

8.The relationship moves forward very quick. Abusive men persuade as fast as they can. They know that they cannot sustain consistent good behavior for very long. Good behavior does not give them the pay off they want, controlling through abuse does.

9. You catch him telling lies. There are areas of his life that he is not telling you about or is lying to you about because he may lose you.  

10.He is interested in everything you have to say and coincidentally always agrees.  This is a sneaky technique called mirroring and can later be used to control you by developing trust.  

Any of the above must be considered an important warning sign. If you hear any alarms going off in your head, listen to them carefully and act on them.  An ounce of prevention can prevent a lifetime of heartache.

About the Author:

Infidelity Expert, Stephany Alexander, B.A., Author, Women’s Speaker
Credentials:  Stephany Alexander is the founder of http://www.WomanSavers.com,/ a free date screening service for women which is home to the “World’s Largest Database Rating Men.”  WomanSavers.com is one of the most popular women’s sites on the net (top 5%) receiving millions of hits per month.

• Founder – highest trafficked abused women’s message board on the net
• Founder of Largest Online Database of Men in the World
• Author of ‘Sex, Lies and the Internet,’ A Survival Guide to Online Dating http://www.sexliesandtheinternet.com/
• Online dating expert on numerous talks shows and call-in radio shows – Author of over 50 articles on online dating and relationships
• Author of 22 dating and relationship quizzes
• Internet Polling Expert on relationship and dating issues, surveying over 400,000 women in on-line polls
• Creator of 13 women’s comedy cartoon e-cards, including one claymation
• Creator of 6 women’s online games, one arcade quality

Ms. Alexander is frequently called on by the media as the nation’s leading Infidelity Expert. Featured on: E! Entertainment, CNN, CBS, FOX, Sirius Satellite, KROQ, KIIS, Mike & Juliet Show, USA Today, Esquire Magazine, Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and countless radio shows.

To interview Ms. Alexander, please email womansavers@womansavers.com

Infidelity can sneak up on even the most solid partnerships.  According to an infidelity poll conducted by believe that emotional affairs lead to physical affairs, whereas only a mere 8WomanSavers.com  With the increase in technology, cheating has become more prevalent.  However, the following the below top 10 infidelity-proof tips will increase your chances of having a long-lasting, healthy, monogamous relationship.

1.  Don’t Drink or Use Drugs Around the Opposite Sex
Drinking alcohol or using drugs with the opposite sex is one of the quickest ways that lead to infidelity because it lowers your inhibitions.  Even having a cocktail at a business lunch can lead to more intimate conversations and inappropriate behavior.  

2.  Develop common interests and hobbies.
If you and your partner are always spending time apart doing the activities you enjoy separately, there is a higher chance one of you may meet someone who enjoys doing the same activities you do.  Couples that “play” together, are more likely to stay together.

3.  Exercise and eat right.
Don’t let yourself go physically.  Exercise and eat well not only for yourself, but for your partner.  If you quit trying just because you have become comfortable, your partner will resent you for being lazy and may become attracted to someone who values their self worth more.  Not to mention the confidence you may loose in yourself which is one of the most attractive characteristics in a person.

4.  Don’t plan meetings alone with the opposite sex.
Now I know it’s not possible to always have meetings in groups.  However, if you know you are attracted to an acquaintance, try to plan your meetings in groups because this helps lower the intimacy factor.

5.  Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.  If you would be uncomfortable with your partner doing something that you are doing or are considering doing, don’t do it.  Respect your partner enough to always consider their feelings.

6.  Travel together whenever possible.  The old saying “when the cat’s away, the mouse will play” rings very true.  Don’t put yourself in situations where you are more likely to cheat such as going on solo vacations or going to a restaurant or bar alone.  If you are traveling for business and your partner is unable to join you, phone them daily to stay in touch.

7.  Don’t Mix Business and Pleasure.  The office is meant for business, not gossip or intimate details.  Don’t flirt, touch or wear revealing clothing to your workplace.  Keep it professional.  If you are a man, make sure you hire someone based on  their qualifications not because they are attractive.

8.  Stay sexually creative.  It takes effort to keep the fire lit in the bedroom after you’ve been together for a while.  Be adventurous and think outside the box.  As long as you are both comfortable with it, there’s no harm done.  Couples who have a happy sex life are much less likely to cheat.

9.  Don’t share too many personal details with the opposite sex.  Intimate details should be for your partner.  Many times emotional infidelity leads to physical infidelity.  If a conversation is becoming too intimate for you, simply redirect the conversation to include your partner or politely direct the person towards professional help.

10.  Put positive effort into your relationship daily.  It doesn’t matter if you give your partner an extra hug or put the dishes away, the fact that you are doing something small to show you care on a regular basis can make all the difference and may prevent your partner from seeking attention elsewhere.

If you are considering cheating, respect your partner enough to end the relationship for the sake of their emotional and sexual health.  Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

*********************************

About the author:

Relationship Expert Stephany Alexander, B.A.
Ms. Alexander is CEO of http://www.WomanSavers.com,/ the world’s largest database rating men, one of the most popular women’s sites (top 1%).

 * Founder – most popular infidelity forum & largest online database of men

• Author – Sex, Lies & the Internet, A Survival Guide to Online Dating http://www.sexliesandtheinternet.com/
• Author –  50+ infidelity articles & 22 relationship quizzes * Polling Expert surveying 350,000+ women
• Creator -12 women’s e-cards & 6 online games

Featured on: E! Entertainment, the Today Show, CBS Early Show, FOX, Sirius, Mike & Juliet Show, Esquire, Wall Street Journal, NY Times & countless radio shows.
To interview, email womansavers@womansavers.com

Emotional infidelity is the new fad on the internet and is appropriately titled “cyber cheating.”  Many homes have one to two computers making it easy to carry on an emotional affair without the partner ever knowing.  It’s convenient, cheap and fun!  A person can learn a lot about an internet stranger by communicating through a few emails, texts or chats, all without the embarrassment of meeting in person.

The sharing of personal information with strangers online is commonplace on the internet.  Personal details are shared on chat boards, personal websites, blogs, message boards and porn sites.  Emotional infidelity is an infidelity that occurs through emotions, feelings or thoughts, rather than physical in nature.  With the increase in technology through the internet and cell phones, the traditional term of infidelity has become broader to include thoughts and/or feelings.  Emotional infidelity can include anything from texting someone intimately via cell phone to emailing intimate correspondence, exchanging personal photos or viewing pornography.

According to an emotional infidelity poll of over 4,975 women conducted by WomanSavers.com about 6 (3,328) of women believed that viewing porn was emotional cheating, whereas a mere 33 (1,647) did not.

In a similar WomanSaver’s infidelity poll of 5,167 women, 8 (4,310) of all women felt that online affairs constituted infidelity and only 16 (856) did not.  The main difference between physical infidelity and emotional infidelity is physical contact.  Physical infidelity involves people meeting directly and then engaging in physical intimacy.  Emotional infidelity can occur in distant locations with absolutely no physical contact occurring.  The primary difference between traditional cheating and emotional infidelity is actual, physical contact.  With emotional infidelity, there may be a meeting, but it can occur on a cell phone or a computer.  Some people who emotionally cheat don’t consider the act to be a true form of infidelity because there is no physical contact.  Others see no difference between physical and emotional infidelity because emotional infidelity has the same basic behavioral actions as traditional infidelity.

When actor Brad Pitt became emotionally involved with Angelina Jolie on the set of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” it was only a matter of time before their emotional infidelity led to physical infidelity, resulting in a divorce between he and Jennifer Anniston.  When a person cheats, they flirt and seduce another regardless of whether they are in physical contact or not.  The problem results when the partner pays emotional or physical attention to someone other than their mate.  

In another infidelity poll of 5,449 women conducted by WomanSavers.com over 9 (4,988) of all women felt that emotional affairs could lead to physical affairs and a mere 8 (461) did not.   An emotional affair can begin quite innocently and as time passes the information two people exchange becomes more intimate.  As the trust factor increases, so does the curiosity, which many times ends up in a physical meeting.

When a person is not getting their emotional needs met in a relationship, they seek it from someone who will give it to them.  All people want to be loved, acknowledged, validated and needed.  Humans want to be desired.  If those needs aren’t getting met through their partner, they go online and find someone who meets their needs and begin cyber cheating.  There are plenty of strangers online who will fulfill those needs, especially if deceit is involved.  Many people lie to the online strangers in order to get the attention they think they deserve.  The person may tell the stranger how mean and distant their partner is so the stranger feels pity for them.  Many married people tell online strangers they are “separated” or “divorcing” when this is far from the truth.

With the ease of meeting new people through the internet and through various communication devices, the number of people engaged in emotional infidelity and cyber cheating will increase.  However, it is important for the parties engaging in the communications to consider the consequences and pain these acts may have on their partner.  A good way to determine what is and what is not acceptable is to ask yourself if you would be okay with your partner engaging in the same type of behavior with another.  If the answer is no, then you should definitely back off because emotional infidelity can hurt just as deeply as physical unfaithfulness.  

The following behavioral signs are the top 10 signs of emotional infidelity.  If any of these ring a bell in regards to your relationship, perhaps you are not as close to your partner as you should be.

1. You have little or no sex.  Partner is always too busy or tired.
2. You have petty arguments.
3. You feel like you don’t have anything in common any more.
4. One of you is no longer attracted to the other.
5. Partner spends unusually long periods of time on cell phone or computer.
6. Partner suddenly becomes hypercritical about your appearance.
7. Partner becomes secretive or defensive when questioned about their behavior.
8. Partner loses interest in relationship or family activities.
9. Partner stays on computer very late at night after you have retired.
10. Partner secures their computer in a locked area or with passwords you don’t have access to.

If your relationship shows any of the above signs, it may be time to communicate with your partner to try to reconnect.  If you don’t, this supposed casual “friendship” can quickly turn from cyber cheating into something more.

Talk to your partner and tell them what you need and want.  Don’t be afraid to express your true feelings, including your insecurities and concerns.  A loving mate will be understanding of your feelings and work through it with you.  Tell your partner that you miss them and you need their devotion and attention.  This will help reopen the communication channels.

Compiled by Online Relationship Expert the world's largest database rating men targeting abusive and cheating men.

As a relationship expert   who gives relationship advice on a daily basis, I have determined there are 10 basic key factors that determine whether or not a person is right for you.  Relationships are a tricky business and getting involved with the wrong person can be destroy your life.  How do you know when a person is right for you?  I have broken down the top 10 ways to determine if you may be with Mr. or Mrs. Right so you may live happily every after.  

1. You both have common interests and goals.  After the newness of a relationship wears off, what remains is that you are friends and friends have fun together and do things together.  If you both work towards a shared goal like purchasing a home, raising a family or saving for a dream vacation, you are working together as a team.  For example,  a client of mine named Jody wanted to have children but her partner Matt did not.  Since Jody was not upfront with Matt in the beginning of their relationship about her goal of having a family, it created stress and arguments in their relationship and eventually they broke up.  Share your goals and interests with your partner and if they don’t match up, move on.  

2. Make sure that your partner gets along with your family and friends.  Even if there are issues or tenseness with your partner’s family, it is extremely important to make a positive effort and be polite.  The same goes for your partner’s friends.  Since your mate has chosen to have these friends, there must be a reason so don’t try to get in the middle of family and friends.  If the relationships weren’t meant to continue, they will eventually end.  Also, don’t try to compete with your partner’s friends.  It is important to have male and female friends to joke with, share with and do things with.  Don’t take this away from your partner.  

3.  Don’t choose someone just because of his or her external appearance.  We all know that beauty fades and what is left when people grow old is their personality and their beauty inside.  People, who only marry for superficial reasons such as looks, usually are not able to succeed long-term in a relationship.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if you love someone, they will always be beautiful to you.  

4.  Don’t marry for money.  Time and time again people who marry for money end up in an ugly, costly divorce.  Money comes and goes in life but even if you have a billion dollars and are in the fanciest hotel on earth, it won’t make up for the fact that you are with someone who you don’t want to be with and you will end up miserable and unhappy.  It’s much more satisfying to look at the stars with someone you love than living in a mansion with someone you can’t stand.  

5.  Cleanliness.  If you meet someone who is a complete slob they won’t change and guess who will end up being resentful and bitter because you have to clean up after them?  You.  I knew a couple where the man was a neat freak and the woman was a complete slob.  Of course the man tried to change his wife and when it didn’t work, he began cleaning up after her.  After a period of time, he became angry at her lack of concern for order and they eventually divorced.  What may seem petty in the beginning can turn into a huge issue in a marriage.  

6.  You are both ready for a lifetime commitment.  Many people rush into marriage without taking the time to really get to know the other person.  Simply dating a person for three to six months does not mean that you really know them.  Everyone is on their best behavior when they first meet someone but until you see a person when they are down, in trouble or stressed, you don’t really know them.  

7.  Similar Spirituality.  You don’t necessarily have to be the same religion as your partner but if one person is a devout Christian who attends church every Sunday and another is an atheist out partying all weekend, serious issues can arise.  Make sure your beliefs are similar and you discuss these in-depth before deciding to commit long-term.  Spiritual beliefs can bring people closer together or tear them apart so make sure you are both on a similar page.  

8.  Similar diet.  Now this may seem silly but it’s more important than you think.  If you are a vegan and your partner is a meat eater, choosing restaurants and daily meals together can become a struggle.  It is of course possible to order a salad at most restaurants.  However, if your partner is not flexible enough to occasionally eat at a vegan restaurant with you or try some new home-cooked veggie dish you made, it can create serious long term relationship issues.  

9.  Spending time together.  You must both make time for each other.  For example, a friend of mine names James is, and always will be, a complete workaholic.  His wife Jillian is not.  She is always forced to compete with his cell phone, meetings and clients and they never go on vacations because he is always working.  Soon Jillian began feeling like a mere shadow in James’ life and was only squeezed in between client meetings.  They are still together because Jillian is scared to be alone but she is already alone in this relationship and is frequently depressed.  Sometimes being in a relationship can be even lonelier than being single so make sure that both people value the relationship enough to make time for each other.  

10. Consideration and manners.  You are able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and are respectful of their feelings.  Compromise is one of the most important elements of a successful relationship.  If you become involved with an egomaniac narcissist who only cares about their own needs, you are headed for disaster.  These types of people do not have the ability to put someone else’s needs first and only consider their own.  Make sure the person you commit to cares as much about you as they do about themselves.

The goal of a long-term relationship and marriage is to be loved and love someone who will be your lover, teammate, friend, confidante and partner you can grow old with.  As with everything in life, relationships take work – a lot of work.  If you aren’t ready to compromise or willing to put some hard work into it, you’re not ready for a long-term commitment or marriage.  

I recommend a character check for anyone considering a long-term relationship.  Have you done a background check on this person?  Are you sure you’re not involved with a convicted felon, a married person or a con artist?  Do your homework and screen, screen, screen.  For the ladies out there, I recommend searching through the date screening  website WomanSavers.com database to see if their partner has a trail of unsuccessful relationships.  If they do, it is best advised that you proceed with caution.